Mind over Matter or Matter over Mind??!!!

I was a tomboy in my school days. Well, it's not that I'm not a tomboy any more!! I've just grown my hair and wear girly outfits at times but that doesn't mean my tomboyish nature has changed and my friends have stopped calling me a guy!!

The point of mentioning my tomboyish nature is that I used to like and enjoy the fact that I was boyish in nature. I used to fight with the guys and run around with them, play with them. Back then, being and behaving like a boy was something I liked and enjoyed because it meant how flexible, energetic, smart and strong you are. I liked to be defined by these adjectives. And I still like to be defined by these very adjectives. But...

...but, I don't enjoy being boyish or being called a boy. Because at present, boys are basically the symbol of that strength which can rip off a girl's dignity and still get away with the crime. The physical strength that boys have been provided with is being used to have sexual pleasure rather than using it for the purposes like protecting someone or doing some heavy work. 

Suddenly a thought passed my mind that, I respect and love my father and I have this much trust that he must not have ever molested a girl!! But in the crowded buses and roads, I see so many men as old as my father or even more, who might have a family, may be a son or a daughter and they molest girls in the crowded buses and roads. How disgusting it feels to see some guy as old as my Dad is doing this to girls who are just school kids or college students or older women even. And it's these guys who make women form disgusting image of random men on the streets and see them with an eye of suspicion!!

I don't know what to feel any more!! I don't like being all girly. I don't like being weak like most Indian women. I don't like to shut my mouth and turn away when some dickhead tries to take advantage of that dick he has been given by birth. I like to be defined by those characteristics that are so-called "boyish"!! But I don't like to be called "boyish" any more. Because...

...I don't want to be called by the name of those creatures who stare at every passing set of boobs and then, if satisfied with the size, will look up at the face and then, if satisfied with the beauty, will imagine the nude look or may be how much pleasure the girl would provide in bed!!